A Local Death Row Inmate Wins Staring Contest

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A local death row inmate, Jeffery Lynn Borden, takes home the title at the ever intense 2017 Staring World Championship contest.

‘I won!,’ exclaimed Borden. ‘I killed it. Better watch out because I’ll be ready to out view you next year too.’

With his haunting “deer in the headlights” look, there was almost no question that Jeffery would win the title. This is not his first time killing it during a gaze battle. In the 3rd grade he would always beat his neighbor friend, Billy.

‘He seems to murder everyone he competes with,’ declared Mike the officiant ‘He’s so good, you won’t even stand a chance to beat him.’

The SWC are in contractual talks with a large local sports news channel for coverage of the 2018 Staring World Championship. They hope everyone will watch starers.

 

[Source – Yahoo NewsThe execution of a 56-year-old man convicted of committing a Christmas Eve 1993 double murder in Alabama was put on hold after a U.S. district judge issued a stay and the state attorney general did not immediately appeal, officials said on Thursday (Courtesy Alabama Dept of Corrections/Handout)